I’ve got nothing to add to the enormous amount of nothing being spouted in the papers and on social media.

Nothing has happened until it’s happened.  Nothing is happening until we’re told it was happening and only then when it’s announced as having happened.  In which case, it was something.

Just call me the anti-Jim White.

Author: Flat Oeuf

A blog dedicated to aficionados of the chicken badge of Tottenham Hotspur FC, unashamedly revelling in the agony and ecstasy of every moment of every matter who finds themselves fortunate enough, in any given season, to be the stewards, manager or players of the best club in the world. COYFS!

  • UnkleTaff 07/08/2018 at 12:28 pm

    “My sources today saying @JackGrealish1 is to have a medical in the next 24 hours at a top London Premier League club”
    Ian Abrahams, talkSPORT

    • Bardamu 07/08/2018 at 12:34 pm

      Moose, the big tease…
      Name the club.

      • UnkleTaff 07/08/2018 at 12:36 pm

        Not that there’s any doubt in my mind who it is, Kovacic going to Chelsea will remove any element of uncertainty.

        Welcome to Tottenham, Jack.

        • Chauvelin 07/08/2018 at 12:50 pm

          He isn’t exactly the same kind of player.

          • UnkleTaff 07/08/2018 at 12:53 pm

            No player is exactly the same type of player as any other.

            But they play in similar-ish positions and that’s close enough for me.

    • SpurAndy 🍒 🥧 07/08/2018 at 12:44 pm

      Sounds like the domino’s are beginning to tumble.

  • Sexy Beast 07/08/2018 at 12:30 pm

    Kovacic is going to Chelscum

    • SpurAndy 🍒 🥧 07/08/2018 at 12:45 pm

      Pfft, never rated him.

    • Freund or Foe 07/08/2018 at 12:46 pm

      Ross Barkley will be pleased.

      • Chauvelin 07/08/2018 at 12:48 pm

        Serves the plonker right.

      • Bardamu 07/08/2018 at 12:48 pm

        Drinkwater’s pouring another rum and coke.

      • UnkleTaff 07/08/2018 at 12:48 pm

        Do they still need to keep him to satisfy their homegrown quota? If not I suspect a last-minute loan deal might be on the cards. I can see him ending up back at Everton.

        • Sexy Beast 07/08/2018 at 12:49 pm

          Bournemouth 😂

        • Freund or Foe 07/08/2018 at 12:53 pm

          Not sure. Drinkwater, Barkley, Cahill, Rob Green, Fabregas, Moses? Zouma? Can’t think of any others.

          • Freund or Foe 07/08/2018 at 12:57 pm

            Zouma isn’t homegrown

            • Freund or Foe 07/08/2018 at 12:58 pm

              Moses is.

              • UnkleTaff 07/08/2018 at 1:01 pm

                So they only have seven homegrown players, assuming my maffs is correct.

          • UnkleTaff 07/08/2018 at 12:59 pm

            Does Zouma qualify as homegrown? Loftus-Cheek can be added to that list, but it’s still looking a bit threadbare even so. Perhaps they’ll have no option other than to keep both Barkley and Drinkwater.

            • Freund or Foe 07/08/2018 at 1:02 pm

              So they have 7. Can’t see them letting any of those go.

              • UnkleTaff 07/08/2018 at 1:03 pm

                It amazes me how such a well-run club can find themselves in this predicament in the first place…

  • Flat Oeuf 07/08/2018 at 12:49 pm

    Kovacic to Chelski as a sweetener for Courtois makes sense. I’m afraid that poker-play knocks us out of the game on him.

    • UnkleTaff 07/08/2018 at 12:54 pm

      Isn’t he reported to have gone on strike to secure a move away from Madrid?

      If that’s the case Chelsea are welcome to him.

      • Bardamu 07/08/2018 at 12:55 pm

        They’re all at it. Allegedly, Courtois did the same.
        Going AWOL is the new “slapping in a transfer request”

      • Flat Oeuf 07/08/2018 at 1:11 pm

        I agree, although I have some sympathy for players who find themselves ‘stuck’ at clubs where they’re not getting a fair chance as the manager merry-go-round continues…and are blocked from leaving. 9not sting this is what happened here).

        • UnkleTaff 07/08/2018 at 1:15 pm

          Yurp. They were presumably happy to sign a contract at the time when it suited them. Circumstances change, I know, but there must be better ways of resolving a disagreement than resorting to strike action.

          • Caspurs 07/08/2018 at 1:49 pm

            Did you protest when we signed Sanchez. after he refused to train for Ajax ?

  • Bardamu 07/08/2018 at 12:58 pm

    Was Kovacic ever a tangible target, or was he simply many Spurs fans’ wet dream of who we *should* be going after? This is the clear danger of getting too fixated on any player, however tenuously linked.

    • Freund or Foe 07/08/2018 at 1:00 pm

      After RM pulled out of trying to poach Poch, with many reports suggesting Levy would make it too difficult, I don’t know why they’d do us any favours.

      • Bardamu 07/08/2018 at 1:00 pm

        This is very true.

      • Flat Oeuf 07/08/2018 at 1:01 pm

        Er, hello? The Special Relationship.

        • Freund or Foe 07/08/2018 at 1:03 pm

          Soz, how could I forget?

    • SpurAndy 🍒 🥧 07/08/2018 at 1:00 pm

      Apparently he hates Poch even though he’s never played for him.

      • Flat Oeuf 07/08/2018 at 1:12 pm

        He’s stinky.

    • UnkleTaff 07/08/2018 at 1:02 pm

      What little I saw of him at the World Cup didn’t make me think this is a player we should be looking to buy.

      • Freund or Foe 07/08/2018 at 1:03 pm

        He was much better than Grealish at the World Cup.

        • UnkleTaff 07/08/2018 at 1:04 pm

          That’s open to debate.

          • Freund or Foe 07/08/2018 at 1:05 pm

            I’m ready to hear your thoughts.

            • UnkleTaff 07/08/2018 at 1:22 pm

              What little I saw of him at the World Cup didn’t make me think this is a player we should be looking to buy.

              Er, that’s pretty much all I have.

  • UnkleTaff 07/08/2018 at 1:06 pm

    “BBC Sport understand the clubs are still around £7m apart in their valuation of [Grealish].

    Just a matter of time now, I’d’ve thought.

  • UnkleTaff 07/08/2018 at 1:06 pm

    My dog is currently sat under the apple tree, looking up at it in anticipation of a windfall.

    • ronwol196061 07/08/2018 at 1:42 pm

      It could be a sign Taff

      • Bardamu 07/08/2018 at 1:46 pm

        “A hard rain’s a-gonna fall…”

    • Chauvelin 07/08/2018 at 1:48 pm

      Is he called Newton?

  • ronwol196061 07/08/2018 at 1:45 pm

    Anything can happen 80%

    Nothing will happen

    None of the above will happen

  • ronwol196061 07/08/2018 at 1:46 pm

    First refusal for Kane and Kovacic is ours

  • TCY 07/08/2018 at 1:51 pm

    Driving home to Ohio from Michigan vacay today. Coming out of the isolation of the north woods. What is the latest NITK?

    • Bardamu 07/08/2018 at 1:54 pm

      Here’s the latest from within the transfer committee’s inner sanctum…

      There was an important job to be done. Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody’s job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn’t do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.

      • TCY 07/08/2018 at 1:57 pm

        How does Nobody measure up against Grealish or Lewis Cook or Kovacic?

      • ronwol196061 07/08/2018 at 1:57 pm

        I agree

        But I bought a vacuum cleaner for $1995 once

        • Caspurs 07/08/2018 at 2:16 pm

          Ewe woz robbed!

      • TCY 07/08/2018 at 2:00 pm

        I’d trade Anybody for Sissy any time.

        • HD 🇺🇸 07/08/2018 at 2:01 pm

          It is apparent that Sissy is part of the plan and is staying. I am remaining calm.

    • ronwol196061 07/08/2018 at 1:58 pm

      The cupboard is bear

      • HD 🇺🇸 07/08/2018 at 1:59 pm

        Where is Old Mother Hubbard when you need her?

    • Bardamu 07/08/2018 at 2:10 pm

      How were the north woods of Michigan, TCY?
      All sounds very cinematic to this film buff.
      Fishing in the lake in the shadow of the pines?
      Cooking steaks and marshmallows over camp fires at dusk?

      • HD 🇺🇸 07/08/2018 at 2:11 pm

        Mosquitos. ☹️

      • TCY 07/08/2018 at 2:18 pm

        Walleye, a succulent white fish, is the campfire fish of choice on the Great Lakes, at least to TCY. Others like perch and whitefish. These people are sissies. Not many beef cattle roaming in the dark deep woods, so steak is in short supply. My wife is an expert in finding and picking the local wild marshmallows. But In the marshes the mosquitos weigh in at 5-7 pounds apiece, but are inedible

        • HD 🇺🇸 07/08/2018 at 2:19 pm

          They are the state bird of Alaska.

          • TCY 07/08/2018 at 2:22 pm

            How do you feel about moose, HD?*

            *Dont say carefully.

            • Chauvelin 07/08/2018 at 2:25 pm

              Althaea officinalis doesn’t grow in North America,,unless it is a recent introduction.

              • TCY 07/08/2018 at 2:34 pm

                The little woman is VERY good at marshmallow foraging.

            • Caspurs 07/08/2018 at 2:26 pm

              Never let them loose aboot yar hoose?

            • HD 🇺🇸 07/08/2018 at 2:28 pm

              Don’t hit one with your car, the moose will win.

  • Caspurs 07/08/2018 at 2:07 pm


    • Caspurs 07/08/2018 at 2:08 pm

      That’s betterer, bluddy compoo’er..

      • HD 🇺🇸 07/08/2018 at 2:09 pm

        Whew!, I was getting alarmed.

        • Caspurs 07/08/2018 at 2:11 pm

          Alarmed you say. Well you can never be too safe. :p

  • ronwol196061 07/08/2018 at 2:09 pm

    In the world of all or nothing, all doesn’t seem to be an option

    • HD 🇺🇸 07/08/2018 at 2:10 pm

      Nothing to it.

      • Bardamu 07/08/2018 at 2:12 pm

        Being and Nothingness

  • Chauvelin 07/08/2018 at 2:18 pm

    No player is exactly the same type of player as any other.
    But they play in similar-ish positions and that’s close enough for me.

    Can he win back the ball, and then hold on to it under intense pressure? If Dembele leaves we need a player to fill that role just as much as a creator.

    • GDawg 07/08/2018 at 2:51 pm

      Victor looked to be that guy. But he’s never fully recovered from his injuries

      • Chauvelin 07/08/2018 at 3:08 pm

        I doubt he’ll ever be fully recovered. Just looks like another crocked player.

  • TCY 07/08/2018 at 2:35 pm

    Taking over the driving. See ya later.

  • Chauvelin 07/08/2018 at 2:49 pm

    The tension, the anticipation, the pressure. The fans cannot believe a great signing is coming, and their expectations are building and building, right up to a tremendous

    • Chauvelin 07/08/2018 at 2:50 pm

      No, nothing.

  • GDawg 07/08/2018 at 2:52 pm

    When does this window mercifully end?

  • Fat Bertha 07/08/2018 at 2:55 pm


    The little woman is VERY good at marshmallow foraging.

    No idea what that means, but it sounds very rude. Where do I sign up?

  • Freund or Foe 07/08/2018 at 3:06 pm

    Got a new blog, if everyone is ready?

    • Fat Bertha 07/08/2018 at 3:18 pm

      Lets have it.

  • SpurAndy 🍒 🥧 07/08/2018 at 3:08 pm

    Lovely night last. Daughter had to get to Oxfordshire near Henley for a film shoot. Dad volunteered to drive with her gear. Get there hour and 45 mins later in the back of beyond, 7.30pm,at the end of a 4 mile single track road to find daughter has left personal bag of stuff at home. She’s staying away until Friday. Daughter looking like she’s about to burst into tears so Dad agrees to drive home pick up bag and deliver it straight back to her at edge of beyond. Dad finally gets home at 2am in the morning. Daughter very grateful and apparently that’s what dad’s are for.

    • Chauvelin 07/08/2018 at 3:09 pm


      • SpurAndy 🍒 🥧 07/08/2018 at 3:11 pm

        Is my middle name.

        • Hartley 07/08/2018 at 3:21 pm

          Bloody kids, both mine have now left home but you wouldn’t know it.

  • Fat Bertha 07/08/2018 at 3:12 pm


    Sounds like the domino’s are beginning to tumble.

    I prefer Pizza Hut anyway.

  • Hartley 07/08/2018 at 3:20 pm

    Now that Burnley have signed Joe Hart we are officially the most settled squad in the Premier League, and some Spurs fans are still bedwetting.

  • Superspoz 🏆 07/08/2018 at 4:44 pm


  • Caspurs 07/08/2018 at 4:58 pm

    Noo Bloeug, just follow the signs.. ⬅️⬆️⬇️➡️

  • Syd 08/08/2018 at 12:06 am

    If I was a supposed journo like ian Abrahams I could easily come up with a story given all the information that’s been released that Jack grealish was going to London Club and in the next 24 hours and of course he would have to undergo a medical. I think that would be a no-brainer of a story.
    I am certain he can pat himself on the back after it is announced.
    At least we get a Homegrown talented English player.
    We can get rid of some of the dead weight up to August 31 and we should also loan out a couple of The Young Ones.

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